Actually dah tiga hari I karang entri delete-karang-delete. Hehehe. Well, its kind of mengada ngada jugak lah kan. Biar lah, kan entri I. Bukan ada orang baca pun. Hehehe.
I was at my worse. The whole week. I experience depression,tense, sadness, overly sensitive senang cerita semua feeling lah at one time. Jenuh jugak lah I nak melayan perasaan sorang sorang. Hahahhaha. I was at the bottom rock.
I fall hard. Bleeding. Fractured. Macam jatuh dalam perigi tua. Nasib baik takde air sebab I tak pandai berenang. Hehe
Well, bukan I tak pernah hit the bottom rock pun sebelum ni tapi this is the most mixed feeling I ever felt. Selalu kalau I hit bottom rock, I akan quickly get up. Sapu debu. Flip hairs. Chin up. Climb. I won't let myself hurt for so long. My body tak boleh tahan sakit hati lama lama nanti demam. Nope, I do forget and let that past. But I am certainly not forgiving. Yes, I hold grudges. But I am fine. 😊 takde lah sampai I doakan yang bukan bukan.
This time I was sitting on that feeling quite long. Waiting for someone to give me a hand. To lean a shoulder. I know I boleh climb up myself tapi I just want him to be at my worse. To stay. To cheer me up. Pathetic enough, he didn't.
Just because I acted tough. And he knows I will get through this. I guess he didn't want to waste his time.
Its okay. I still get up. Sapu debu. Flip hairs. Chin up. Climb. Still hurting but I heal myself. Myself. I don't need him anymore.
This morning I went hiking. I must leave this broken heart up there.
The bitch is back.
Condition : Kind of fragile at this moment. Bleed, fractured.
Recovery period : another 6 years.